I frustrate myself. I like nice things. I naturally pick out the most expensive item before seeing the price tag. I typically find myself quickly disappointed that I’m settling for something I like a little less. My budget and my expectations are never in sync with one another.
To complicate my standards more, I have a strong desire to travel. I need vacations. My mental health is dependent on a change of scenery. To top all of this off, I’m a school social worker and I do lot of window shopping and daydreaming with no actual plans in place.
I think a lot of us have these fantasy lives in our heads: the house, the clothes, the cars and the vacations. There is this desire to have it all. We are constantly surrounded by people who seem to have it all (thanks Instagram), and it’s hard not to go down the path of, “Why can’t I have all of that?”
For a lot of us, myself included, having it all isn’t the fiscally responsible thing to do. Going into debt to have the wardrobe you want or having car payments that stretch you too thin aren’t getting you closer to having it all. It is important to prioritize your wants.
Do you remember the scene in “UP” when we realized the old couple kept spending their adventure fund and never got to go on the trip of their dreams? Obviously, your basic needs must come first. You have to pay your bills, buy food and pay for shelter. Having a designer purse is not a need. It’s important to decide what kind of life you want and remind yourself of these things frequently. Set goals, put them in writing and adjust them frequently. Our lives are always moving and changing, so our goals can too.
When setting your goals, try to remember what will actually make you a better person. Having the Instagram-worthy home, the perfect wardrobe and the car other people envy won’t bring actual joy or growth into your life.
Create that adventure fund. See the world. Experiencing different cultures, seeing new places and seeking experiences you can’t have in your own neighborhood bring growth and add value to your life. r
As a reminder to you (and myself) before this holiday season, seeing all the gifts under the tree and watching them get opened will create a moment of happiness, but that feeling quickly fades. The memories of going on adventures with your family, those will stay with you. Stop spending your adventure fund on material things. Explore the world around you.
And remember, do good things.
Jo is a Mess 