I keep seeing memes or hearing people talk about using 2020 as a cuss word. That seems pretty accurate. Before COVID-19, there were fires, and now with COVID-19 it’s all anyone can think about. I know personally, I’m forever second guessing myself, questioning if what I’m doing is right. The cancer diagnosis made me put a hard stop on all changes we had planned, and we had a lot of changes planned.
I don’t regret opting out of moving to a new school. While there is a lot of excitement in learning new things and stepping out of your comfort zone, I’m also trying to learn that it’s okay to be comfortable. Staying at my current elementary school was absolutely the best option for me, and I feel like I’ve grown in a lot of different ways in my work this year.
Choosing not to continue with the purchase of the first home we put an offer on this year was also a blessing in disguise. It was so hard to see that in the moment. Walking away from that house was almost like admitting defeat. It felt like cancer was winning. Our lives were in a standstill, and we had no clue when we were going to get to move forward again.
When we did start moving forward again, it was kind of like the stars aligned. First, we discovered my cancer diagnosis was simpler than anticipated. Second, the day after we started looking at houses again, we found the perfect house for us. It literally checked off the entire list. It made us realize the original house we liked wasn’t really everything we wanted (but I am sad about walking away from the pool).
Making this move felt right. Things have fallen into place in a way I never would have expected, especially in a year that’s become a cuss word. It feels like a fresh start. It feels like we’re finally in a place where we can live in the now, and not be hyper-focused on the “what ifs” of our future.
When life is full of chaos, it’s okay to be happy. I think we get stuck in our heads some times, and we forget there are things to find joy in, even in these crazy times. For my family, getting back to finding our happy started with our farmhouse in the city.
Some times we have to look a little harder for the happy, but we can always do good things.
Jo is a Mess 