People start blogging for a ton of reasons. For me, it started as 1) an outlet and 2) it provided a platform for me to tell a story that I knew needed to be shared without having to physically tell my story over and over. It was a protective factor for me because the emotional toll of telling my story was heavy for the first couple months. Influencers start with the desire to make money off of what they’re doing, but they also have a goal of creating a community based on shared interests.
I fully support people creating a community for themselves through the internet. I think a lot of people find comfort in knowing others understand where they’re at in their lives. Offering advice based on life experiences is fine and providing a safe place for like-minded people to converse and have healthy discussions is encouraged.
I begin to have issues with bloggers and influencers when they use their platform to give advice to the masses as if they are experts in areas they are definitely NOT experts in. There are A LOT of bloggers and influencers who are experts in their fields, and there are A LOT who are not. For the latter, they are people with no credentials telling people what they should be doing with their lives. This can be both damaging and dangerous. Saying “this worked for me” is so different than saying “this is what you should do” or “this will fix your problem”.
I felt compelled to write this because someone that I LOVE to follow on Instagram really pissed me off this week. She went on a tangent about how if your husband isn’t helping you around the house enough it’s because you’re not having enough sex and having more sex will solve this problem and give you control in your relationship. The amount of women now writing to her about taking her advice (and her sharing these DMs) kind of breaks my heart. As a licensed therapist, maybe I am sensitive to these types of things, but I also feel like it is a gross overstep that can be incredibly harmful.
She goes so far as to list her credentials in a story which were basically that she has been in a relationship for more than 20 years, she and her spouse have overcome a series of hardships and they’ve gone to therapy. Guys, going to therapy is amazing. I strongly encourage anyone and everyone to see a therapist, but going to therapy does not make you a therapist.
The internet is full of advice, both good and bad. If you’re looking for actual advice, please seek it from actual experts. There are so many therapists, doctors and other professionals who freely share their expertise online for the assistance of others. Aspiring comedians should not being giving sex and marital advice to the masses. If you see them giving said advice, PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT!
That being said, if you’re an influencer or a blogger, stay in your lane. Understand the influence you have over those who choose to be part of your online community and vow to do no harm. I wouldn’t go to a carpenter for medical advice, and I wouldn’t ask my doctor how to build a house.
As always, do good things.
Jo is a Mess 